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10 Traits of Toxic Parents Who Ruin Their Children’s Lives

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Raising children is very difficult and no one has the right to judge someone's particular parenting style. However, some parenting mistakes are more dangerous than others and can seriously damage your child’s health. This video will help you find out what actually affects a child’s psyche and teach those who have toxic parents how they can deal with this issue. When raised by narcissistic parents, children suffer from slowed-down emotional development or none at all, will most likely suffer from depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder when they become adults and grow up into an adult that’s either a self-saboteur or a person ready to sacrifice everything to achieve high goals. Children of toxic parents live in constant fear and apprehension. They’ll grow up into teenagers forced to listen to their parents' complaints, adjust to a "complicated situation", put themselves in their parents' shoes, and help, tolerate, and console them. Toxic parents might not see anything wrong whatsoever in telling all the relatives, neighbors, and family friends that deeply sensitive information the child was pressured into disclosing. These types of parents instill an inferiority complex in their kids since they don't wanna see their child try new things and succeed. Their narcissistic self-love generates fear at the thought of their child becoming better, smarter, and more successful than they are. These parents seem to “generously” offer something that their children don’t really need, but any refusal causes resentment. A grown kid starts thinking, "My parents probably just want some company and wanna feel needed." So they accept the help, thank the parents, and offer something in return. But there's no happy ending here because the parents will always remind their children of that "favor" they did for them. Music: https://www.youtube.com/audiolibrary/music TIMESTAMPS The effect of toxic parenting on kids 0:53 Traits of toxic parents: 10. "Fear me yet love me." 2:01 9. "You need to deal with adult problems, but you still have no rights." 2:34 8. "Be the best but don't forget that you're not special." 3:14 7. "Open up to me but don't be surprised by ridicule." 3:54 6. "You're bad so don't even bother trying to become better." 4:31 5. "You can be successful but only if there’s something in it for me." 5:28 4. "Do exactly what I say, but it’s your fault if you fail." 6:15 3. "You’re such an inconvenience, but don't leave me alone." 6:38 2. "Accept our help but stop exploiting us." 7:11 1. "Trust me, but I’m still gonna go through your stuff." 7:58 How to handle a toxic parent? 8:44 SUMMARY -When raised by narcissistic parents, children don't feel loved, heard, or seen, believe that how they look is more important than who they really are as a person. They don't feel support when they try to develop their true self. -For toxic parents, an emotional attack is synonymous with love and attention. -Kids of toxic parents probably believe that it's specifically their bad behavior that makes their father abuse alcohol to calm himself down. -Even if their kid performs much better than they did once upon a time, all of the child's achievements are taken for granted. -Toxic parents force their children to be sincere and later use the same personal information against the kids. -Toxic parents eagerly discuss their child's failures and flaws. -They enjoy boasting about their kids’ success so that others envy them. Plus, a successful child is a guaranteed better life for parents. -Parents treat their child like an object: they make all the plans and expect their kids to follow along. -Toxic parents never want to let their children go. Yet they’re always pointing out that the house, the money, and the food belongs to them. -The kids turn into prisoners in either case: if they refuse their parents' help, they’re ungrateful brats. If they accept, they’ll always be made to feel indebted. -If you try to restrict access to your personal territory, your parents accuse you of distrust or even hiding something illegal or immoral. -We don’t pick our parents, and we can’t really change them. The only thing we can change is our reaction to their actions. Limit access to your personal territory. Choose your personal interests over those of your parents. Subscribe to Bright Side : https://goo.gl/rQTJZz ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Our Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brightside/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brightgram/ 5-Minute Crafts Youtube: https://www.goo.gl/8JVmuC ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For more videos and articles visit: http://www.brightside.me/
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Text Comments (13330)
BRIGHT SIDE (4 months ago)
TIMESTAMPS The effect of toxic parenting on kids 0:53 Traits of toxic parents: 10. "Fear me yet love me." 2:01 9. "You need to deal with adult problems, but you still have no rights." 2:34 8. "Be the best but don't forget that you're not special." 3:14 7. "Open up to me but don't be surprised by ridicule." 3:54 6. "You're bad so don't even bother trying to become better." 4:31 5. "You can be successful but only if there’s something in it for me." 5:28 4. "Do exactly what I say, but it’s your fault if you fail." 6:15 3. "You’re such an inconvenience, but don't leave me alone." 6:38 2. "Accept our help but stop exploiting us." 7:11 1. "Trust me, but I’m still gonna go through your stuff." 7:58 How to handle a toxic parent? 8:44
hibiki mosori (6 days ago)
+InsaneLaughter most of those things are what my parents do...
Ann (9 days ago)
Don't all parents do some of these, sometimes?
Sony Josh 25 (14 days ago)
I don't wanna live anymore parents...they never try to undrestand me and my love to them.. I feel so lonely even if am living along with my parents and brother's famly too. Many times i didnt understand why these parents give much importance for money and status but for not my feelings and emotions, that hurt me alot...I loved some one who understands me well in my odd situations. I feel so independent, confident when am beside him..But my parents are not going to accept my love. Then with whom can i live happily??? Thanks for your video..hope it supports me alot and an eye open for my father mainly... Always he z money minded,but not for children's feelings...
go Coyle (15 days ago)
Danny DP ,assault isn't legal
go Coyle (15 days ago)
Nguyen Le , move out already
Loki (9 hours ago)
No no I did my mom was religious nut job and my father was a never really around if you've seen the movies Carrie and Psycho put those two moms together you get my mom
Aya10 (13 hours ago)
My mom says all of these things to me what do i do I got depression when I was 8 years old now I am 15
Christopher Robin Cain (16 hours ago)
You described my mother perfectly
Bluish Green (22 hours ago)
I don't get along with them
Richard Exiled (22 hours ago)
Indian parents r the most toxic parents ever
TinkerbellFit (1 day ago)
Described most Hispanic parents!
The Gloved One (1 day ago)
That makes sense... Too little, too late.
Mallow Chan (1 day ago)
No parent is perfect. No child would be perfectly satisfied with his or her parents' care. What children and parents should do is to collaborate their thoughts and establish good communication and extensive understanding of one's position and views. That is what a relationship should be. I would recommend this video to be watched with a wider view and not just the view of children unhappy with their parents. And parents should view this, understanding that this aims not to insult but to raise awareness.
That thumbnail 😂😂
Guitarwithjohn Xx (1 day ago)
Mom mom has7 of the stuff on this vid I am 13 so I can’t move out
Gladys Fuentes (1 day ago)
Hold on here, how about how kids act..
Day late, dollar short for me. Already one f*cked up adult due to toxic parenting.
Koriyuchan (1 day ago)
Our folks were constantly gossiping to my younger sister and I about their relationship whenever we were alone with one of them as if it was our responsibility to be confided in and wouldn't turn into us blaming ourselves when they fought. My father thought he had the right to go through our diaries and then suddenly use a phrase we had written back to us during arguments as his trump cards or "gotchas".
MyBffis Food (1 day ago)
If you ever are in psych ward or prison just go along with the rules, you make their job easier. Then get over it, no one like a complainer, do your time and move along
Civanfan (1 day ago)
For a second I thought https://youtu.be/XlwvxZwP4B0?t=483 was an Aggretsuko reference, but then I got it. Little bit eerie, though.
t Klein (1 day ago)
I ever learned how to take care of myself, only take take of others.
t Klein (1 day ago)
You just described my entire childhood. At 53, I’m still struggling to overcome my childhood.
xx.barestlye.99 (1 day ago)
10 .7.. 5.. 1.. this is my parents mixed all of these
that one again (1 day ago)
I left my family's business after working there for 12 years (started in high school). My father would berate me and undermine any positive changes I would make in the company. He even turned the other workers against me. I felt completely betrayed by the guy. I left Dec. 16 2015 and I still don't talk to the guy.. I don't regret it, but it has been real difficult trying to get any decent job after having a useless resume thanks to his horrible business decisions. I could go on in more detail, but this already more than anyone cares to read.
Alla Soiko (1 day ago)
I got s russian parent who is invasive controlling
popcorn and water (2 days ago)
*"Parents love their children more than their own lives" is just a myth*
ari kitty (2 days ago)
Simi shahul (2 days ago)
i stoped watching the video at the middle beacause my parents are exatlly the same way like this and i dont want to remember my past i do need to be better by forgetting my childhood but the never know how it changed my life i am waste i do want to get up
Young Chick (2 days ago)
My mom is obsoletely like this omg!
Joey Noir (2 days ago)
TiffanyRULES 135 (2 days ago)
Actually I just did this for fun but I never thought my parents would cover every one of those traits
Claren Dennis (2 days ago)
Uh that's why I moved out when I was 17 and only came back to take care of my folks until they passed... I was much happier with them in the end because I could properly take care of then at the end of the day
Abbina L (2 days ago)
Omg this is me I'm 9 and when I heard the word "depression" I was like this is me
RayZe B (2 days ago)
Isn´t is Lifes ?
Tibor Bana (2 days ago)
To everyone who have to deal with narcissistic people or their effect on your life, or try to avoid to became one I would like to suggest you a very good book: Susan Forward - Toxic Parents. Go and do everything you have to to became free, and well.
Kishanraaj Kathiraso (2 days ago)
All the points refers to my parents 100 %. Thanks for making this video.
fireflyfree311 (2 days ago)
Why would you want to try to continue a relationship with your parents that just cut you down and ignore you as if you do something wrong all the time? It's not worth the energy even to try to repair parents that ignore you. If you do say anything to them, they will just use it as leverage to say nasty things about you to other people. (Gossip).
Lu Anders (2 days ago)
i agree with 99% of this. but dont tell people they shouldnt cut ties with their parents if they are being toxic. you shouldnt endure emotional manipulation or (any type of) abuse just because the abuser is related to you that doesnt make it okay.
Everytime I see my parents I get upset because I'm reminded of how much of a failure I've become because of them and their bullcrap.
Najmul Hasan (2 days ago)
South Asian parents in a nutshell... my parents were no exception to this.
Choi jae (3 days ago)
This video just described my parents
Stephwinsyouknow (3 days ago)
"Be the best, but don't forget that you're not special."
Stephwinsyouknow (3 days ago)
Yep, that's how I feel.
Shantha Donald (3 days ago)
You know, I promised my parents that I'll give them my shares on my veterinary course, but they'll get nothing if I earn any type of income from art. Say, if I chose art over that, and they disapprove of me (as well as me being Bi, and an anti trump supporter because they are Trump supporters) choosing that, but I know they'll beg me for money if I get any exposure doing my hobby. What Would you do if that happens? Comment below and see.
Flamingo Flurry (3 days ago)
ya' know, I wish someone in my family would watch this video and see what they are doing wrong...
S Jacob (3 days ago)
Also, one micro-toxic thing they do is compare you to others they know that are supposedly better than you in one way or another.
trinilostgyal (3 days ago)
My mother is 10 for 10
Dad comes home, shoves a cup in my face, tells me to either refill it or get him soda, in the afternoon, if he had been drinking soda, I’ll have to take care of 2 plates, 3-4 cups, 6 cans, and sometimes condiment bowls or leftovers, and if I’m not available he tells my little brothers to do it, and if they’re not available I have to stop what I’m doing, even if I’m going to the bathroom, and help him, plus he blames us for eating all the food and drinking all the soda when he has 8 mini burgers, two cans of soda (in 1 sitting), 2 sandwiches, and 4 popsicles.
The Living Graveyard (3 days ago)
To my father, I am a simple object for amusement. All of these points match up perfectly. Does it feel good to stay at his place so much, even for a 15 year old? I would get therapy, but I’m really poor and no relative could help me. They’d just say, “It’s your dad, I can’t do anything about it.”
MANAN (4 days ago)
My mom loves me but she goes narristic when studying or helping me in studies otherwise I Wont call her narristic I love her she cried really hard when in got an spirit type problem
Lava Girl (4 days ago)
3:05 is me so is #8 the diet thing is what happened to me too #5 is me #3 is me too #1 is my life too #1 is my Hubbys mom too
Knight Lumur (4 days ago)
I had all of these apart from 6...
Jessica Alissa (4 days ago)
Oh well, I've seen you guys met my mother. (:
Malaan 7 (4 days ago)
Omg! The music in the background is unbearable!!
Rinnie xo (5 days ago)
The eyes look 5% like anime eyes.. 0_0
Desiree' Price (5 days ago)
So basically every parent is toxic 😭
rezzac (5 days ago)
Whoaaaaa...so glad this video exists! I can relate on ALL counts, dealing with my totally toxic parent... Not just a parent, but a toxic spouse, friend and family member. This makes me feel all the more relieved that I made the right decision to leave the toxic environment , and stand up for myself, my life and my sanity. I had a suspicion some years back that our family had to deal with a narcissistic parent, but wasn't sure until I saw this video. Now to help my brother who is left to live with that parent, who, at 34 years old, is struggling to extricate himself from the situation 😑
Millennial Goddess TV (5 days ago)
😭 I have a toxic parent but I’m working it all out 🤣😅💓 I love the vids
Dem Saïmoon (5 days ago)
People honestly need to deeply think of the reasons why they want to procreate.
Pianist in 2025 (5 days ago)
Sadly I had a toxic mom while growing up.
Habibah Bibah (5 days ago)
This is 100%my childhood
Joshalynn Worth (5 days ago)
yo this is my dad
Wahay (5 days ago)
my parents definitely have toxic traits and are quite hypocritical but I feel as if those traits are because of stupidity and they dont realize that they have those traits.
2:01 I got goose pumps as soon as he said special noise knowing about the parents mood
Stitch Shifter (5 days ago)
This explains it all. My parents were full blown psychopaths just a bus ticket away from Jonestown. I had a dozen flashbacks before the three minute mark by 3:45 I had to pause.
Dang Anh Tuan (5 days ago)
Seriously, there's a time that my mom keep asking me about what did I spend my pocket money. Also, when I told the fake truth, she even ask me more that How much spaghetti in a cup did I eat. Trust me, it was uneasy
Dang Anh Tuan (5 days ago)
1 & 4 is easily seen in my mom
Dang Anh Tuan (5 days ago)
You know, number 1,10,2,9,4,8,7 is quite true for my mom
Jetset360 (6 days ago)
I was made by accident
i am 12 and i feel like the first one in the video
this is what i think about angry parents:"everything you say,will be turned somehow against you" i cant 100% be real but, when i get that type of hatred i got that kind of a feeling like suffering on a dessert and being drained out,wet decaying and tingly also build up the sanity meter,i love my parents but i'd pefer to be lonely one in everyday situations,a little detoxication or personal isolation,my other quote is "no matter how classed as its how you use yourself,determintion" something like that,im going to be... IT DEPENDS AND THE MOST FITTING WILL DO IT.THIS IS ALL MY WELL FED EXPERIENCE AND FOUNDED FINALLY TIME TO MAKE IT INTO 1 PIECE OF WISE WORDS.AND FROM SERBIAN DARK SECRETS
Oddly Paranoid (6 days ago)
10, 7, 4, 2 and 1
Shalet m (6 days ago)
All 10 traits my parents have My parents ruined my life nd now i have fear of socialising,i am scared of going in between many people.
Da Greatest (6 days ago)
If my dad wasn't heavily cultured or religious he would have been so much worse
jacqueline tai (6 days ago)
I got scolded for 2 hr straight bcuz I just broke a something smol
Arustex (7 days ago)
"You cannot do that"
TROLL WARLORD (7 days ago)
Thats why we need to gas them
Cash Hero (7 days ago)
A few of the most effective approaches in me dealing with this, for me grave issue ... were/are to; Stop identifying myself internally as a victim (self image) and more objectively look for definitive practical solutions i.e. move out, or assert myself verbally in a respectful manner (learn to communicate and verbalize boundaries, say no, be reserved in time, identify negative but also positive emotions, being honest, admit to fear but adhere to courage) Feel compassion and empathy for the unresolved, mostly childish emotional issues that would actually underly the other person's manipulations, while simultaneously admitting that it takes two to tango, so I'm as much responsible for the interactions. A lot of good (audio) books available on these topics. Even here on YouTube, so dig in and get out 😉💪💪👍good luck!
DUSTERDUDE238 (7 days ago)
pretty much every sign was my dad in a nutshell. my mom and I were constantly made to feel like we were nothing , and that our opinions and self respect were unimportant. finally my dad and I were able to make amends for how he treated me when I was a Kid/Teen. I was able to get an Apt of my own, But always felt so guilty for leaving mom to suffer the abuse. this video really helped me see things in a different light, because all these years, I felt like It was something I was doing wrong to make him that way . so thanks :)
denniedollreborn (7 days ago)
I haven't talked or had any communication with my parents in 2 years, because of points 10-1
Gavin Rainey (7 days ago)
My parents qualified for almost all of the traits Dang Pretty soon my mom is going to make me go deaf
Gracie Adhenmu (7 days ago)
still love your parents.... and be greatful if you've come to know they are toxic its becoz there parents were toxic too and you're following the same lead.... instead of leaving them show them how to be good parents by treating your children well and break the tradition
The Legendary Carfox (7 days ago)
Sometimes leaving them is how you can break the cycle. They'll have time to self-reflect on their actions and might begin the path of redemption. If they're redeemed, you can come back. Leaving them also allows you to heal your mind from the erosion and undo the damage your parents may have done. If the parents don't change their toxic behavior, the best you can do is leave to better yourself.
Gracie Adhenmu (7 days ago)
LuWolf (7 days ago)
My parents are a mild case of everything you listed...
CheySummerz 91 (7 days ago)
The worst part is trying to get help or letting others know what's going on with your toxic parents, then they turn on you saying, "but they're your family. Or you should love and respect them no matter what, because they're your parents!" I had people telling me that when I left my toxic mother at 19 to live with my boyfriend, best decision ever made! Now at 27, 3 kids still with the same boyfriend, mom no longer in my life it has made my life better, feels like weight lifted off my shoulders. So there is hope, just keep fighting for it, no matter what anyone tells you.
Nourin isHarrieAF (7 days ago)
"Give me some sun shine...give me some rain...give me another chance i wanna gonna up once again" but not with toxic parents ;-; <\3
B Raja (7 days ago)
Dislikers are the toxic parents
fatimah anwaar (5 days ago)
Harleen Quinzel (8 days ago)
my mother....
Divya Maneshwar (8 days ago)
I'm also experiencing dis i don't know when i get rid of it😢
CallMeWolf (8 days ago)
I don't think I will ever undo the damage my parents have caused and continue to cause. I don't know how to.
B Mehta (8 days ago)
My parents were very disciplined. I won't call them Narcissist. Thanks to their discipline, I am a better person. Today's kids are uncontrollable and mannerless. Because they get so much freedom. Nothing wrong if the kid is scared of his/her dad or mom. Until and unless, the parents are not abusive and take care of the kid, the kid has no freaking right to complain. Call me old school I don't care. But old school is much better than today's moronic kids.
james Barrie (8 days ago)
Do you know how much I gave up to have you? or I wish I never had children
ENGINELIFE (8 days ago)
This is literally how I feel
Lilia Tagoyan (8 days ago)
This is my whole childhood in one video. My parents are the worst😭
Best Edits (8 days ago)
I wish I can choose my family 🙄😒
idconfirm (9 days ago)
Well put together. Unfortunately, my parents are all of those and they refused to see that. They have even gaslight me by saying that I remember things wrongly and tried to flame me in front of extended family members
The Legendary Carfox (7 days ago)
I share the same story. Toxic parents usually make a scene in front of other people just to make you look like the bad guy
Anime Senpai (9 days ago)
The 2.4K how disliked were the parents
Lachy Davies (9 days ago)
My parents care about the movies they are watching more then me or my little brother and they get angry at me and my little brother when I make a little bit of sound please help me 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
That’s why you give children rights and make it embedded into to the constitution that they have the right to do mah things
The Legendary Carfox (6 days ago)
+Gavin Khaira ///Network Totally agree. It's sad to see this happen. I'm actually making a video series that talks about solutions to these problems. You should check it out -> https://youtu.be/zKcAPGFJK8g. Perhaps we can discuss more
The Legendary Carfox you have a point, but children should never protected some ho from these types of parents because many commit sucide from these issues
The Legendary Carfox (7 days ago)
+Gavin Khaira ///Network these are wonderful ideas don't get me wrong and I'd love to see this happen but a child might not be taken seriously in court, especially if they don't have a lawyer. Obviously a child wont have money for a lawyer and the parents definitely wouldn't fund a lawyer that's against them.
The Legendary Carfox well parents have the right to freedom of speech, and the age of consent is 12... so technically If a parent wants to make a decision for the child, and they are over 12 they need the child’s consent from them on.. so kids can defend themselves form what forceful parents want them to do.... and they can’t be physical punished because that would be child abuse... if parent do anything like that the kid is allowed to appeal to court
The Legendary Carfox (7 days ago)
The problem with that is that children will go overboard with it because they're children. I'd say make it easier for a child to live on his/her own like giving them the bare essentials like their vital records and IDs so they can atleast have the tools to make it in life without their parents
Anthony Lane (9 days ago)
Dear parents/children: The perfect parent (in my mind) allows their children to “talk back”, and to tell their children the reason of their punishment, why they are being punished, and what they should learn from it. Then the punishment should be carried out. Don’t be an authority, be a leader. Your anger issues will greatly amplify in the child you have, you will turn your child into an angry psychopath if you abuse him. A good parent doesn’t use the phrase “because I said so”, and if they do, the children should ask “why do you say so?” Over and over until they make you explain the context of any situation where they make you do something. Children, If your parents physically hurt or cripple you, don’t be afraid to fight back. Bite ears, use some weapon, kick, punch, scream. Also, your parents shouldn’t shelter you or carelessly let you do whatever you please. If they do, you’ll likely get yourself hurt because you lack worldly knowledge, and you should attempt to use less emotion in certain situations and call out your friends if they want you to do something against your free will. Questioning the dignity of each situation you’re in, is what makes a person successful. Use the best response over the most emotionally biased one. Allow your children to expand their personalities, help them build stuff, make fires with them, introduce them to material that might catch their interest, let them learn, but don’t shelter them. They need to converse with friends outside of school, they also need to be taught the basics of self preservation and the basics of how civilization works. Teach them how to spend and save money, teach them how to survive on their own as you do in connection with civilization, and teach them how to survive without it also. Also, don’t introduce an idea to them before introducing them the ability to think critically.
Ann (9 days ago)
Q: who has a parent who has never done any of these things? I'm gonna guess zero
Silver Fox (9 days ago)
I did not come along with my narc-mom. I was beaten up several times. She also chose what I have to study after collage. She was also curious about everything I was doing at work and perivate. She tried to get my fiancé to date their bachelor neighbour. And she told me that my fiancé was not good for me at all. She did that since I started dating women. Today I don't have much contact with mom. Better that way.
Simone Hawthorne (9 days ago)
Here's one way u can leave yur toxic parents (or anyone in this matter) 1. Pack bags in yur room over night 2. Make sure u have money n everything u need to get around 3. Leave town. Make sure yur parents don't know were u are 4. NEVER speak to yur parents again!! There, problem solved😊 (I wish it was that easy to do lol.....)
korey forey (10 days ago)
It makes me scared to get kids because I fear I'd inherit this from my parents and unconsciously treat my kids the same. I don't want my child to go through what I did and i definitely don't want to become to become my parents.
The Legendary Carfox (7 days ago)
My advice to you is that if you leave your parents, you can give your mind time to develop a separate personality from your parents, meaning you can stop yourself from becoming them. Also being self-aware is key when it comes to not becoming your parents. Make sure you reflect on your actions objectively and think about your kids perspective
korey forey (10 days ago)
One time I opened up to my dad that the reason why I avoided mom was because she scared me. Dude really told her even though I said not to so whenever I make my mom angry if I dont do anything right she would say "this is why I get mad at you". Another time I opened up to my mom and told her that I feel bad for dad sometimes and she uses that to guilt trip to make me do the errands dad gave her. Smh
Lei G (10 days ago)
My parents are exactly like this and i suffered all my life even when i got married.. we still live in their house.. i tried to move out but my husband cant afford so we moved back in.. what i worry now is my daughter now that she is growing up.. i can see her in my shoes when i was younger.. i dont want this to happen to her.. please help what do i do.. i dont have the capacity to move out because of many circumstances... but i love my daughter so much and im beginning to feel that she can no longer handle anger management..
The Legendary Carfox (7 days ago)
Hey Lei G. I'm actually making a video series myself that talks about solutions to this. Your story sounds like there's a lot of roadblocks in there. I'd love to help with advice if I can. Is there any chance we can talk about it? https://youtu.be/addme/O5aslln4Db7oCQWSTYRIT6aJT80_LQ

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